Ya don't know who to trust.
Your worst enemy could be your best friend,
And your best friend your worst enemy.
Some will eat and drink with you,
Then behind them su-su 'pon you.
Only your friend know your secrets,
So only he could reveal it.
And who the cap fit, let them wear it!
Another rainy week here. So here I am reminiscing on my journey through life. All those 'wrong' turns I've taken, in my relations, my career and my lifestyle. And the glaring conclusion is that I let my condition take me hostage!
Over the last few days I have been playing back a few of the incidents that have happened over the years concerning my relation with people I came across. Some were (fewer still are) my friends, acquaintances and relatives.
Armed with a better understanding of my condition and how I reacted to situations that presented themselves, I’ve come to that conclusion.
That's something I know. Some may feel I failed them, others may despise me or get mad at me (maybe all of the above). But WHY???
I need some sleep
Time to put the old horse down
I’m in too deep
And the wheels keep spinning ’round
Everyone says I’m getting’ down too low
Everyone says you just gotta let it go
Eels – I need some sleep
So my meds seem to be working in a way, but with my ADHD I can’t be too sure. At least now when my angry moods pop up, I can walk away to depressurize.
But the major challenge is my job which requires me to stay connected from 8.00 am to 6.00 pm, handling calls and queries from at least 60 outlets at a rate of a least 10 to 30 calls per hour. the problem lies in the fact that with my condition some queries are of the kind you feel like asking the caller “Are you serious?” or “Duh!”
For us we are blessed with this condition, it is easy to see solutions so fast at times that our peers end up looking dumb (from our point of view). The challenge is avoiding projecting that to them in a way that demeans or puts them down.
Remember that advice we always hear ‘”When you are angry, count to 10 before speaking?” Guess what, I do count, but with so many channels working simultaneously it takes less than a second. While the other channels are still carrying over the heat of the argument. So I end up opening my mouth so soon and BAM!! We’re at it again!
So I’m trying out telling people on phone to give me a few minutes to get back to them so that I can get a few minutes to lower my pressure. Problem is, I may forget who I was on the phone with or find more calls awaiting me so its kind of back to square one.
P.S. So I found out one of my meds was sleeping pills, though I find myself up 4 or 5 hrs later. Need to have a talk with my doc about that.
P.P.S. on further reflection it may be the anxiety that was caused by having to travel while a decision was about to be announced that the outcome would cause friction and dissatisfaction to one part of the nation or the other.
We are all creatures of habit. We can do most things without even thinking about them; our bodies take charge and do them for us. – Earl Nightingale
Yoga in the morning once I’m up (still trying to master the Sun salutation)
Reach the office 1 hr before reporting time to get a chance to add to my blog
Meditation before sleeping (when the amount of interference is lowest)
If she is wrong, try show her the right,
I just watched an interesting video on setting boundaries here
Don’t take “no” for an answer
There’s no telling where we’ve been
And all I know, is that if you can find me
You may never wanna find me again
‘Cause people don’t understand
People like me.
Alphas Theme Song
At times I guess my life can be defined like a person with multiple personalities but all active at the same time.
- Annoyed or angry – since to them we seem to be ignoring them when they ask us something.
- Confused – when our comments or answers are brief and/or cryptic
- Hurt – since we often don’t bother sugar-coating our comments
The reason I bring this up is I always find myself in embarrassing situations where I forget peoples names, or at times where we met. Thus it’s like “Umm…. , remind me your name” or my favourite “I know we’ve met trouble is I can’t remember where.”
So next time we meet and I ask you again, please understand.
Guess he said it best.
“Your neurons must myelinate at an astounding rate.” Dr. Rosen – Alphas
P.S. here is another take on the subject
"Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end:
Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
Sounds simple, does it not? Well not for me.
Here's the why's (hope that's correct grammar)