At times I have to wonder if the lessons learnt from childhood were supposed to prepare me for an alternate universe.
being courteous (please, thanks, etc)
trusting (unless proven otherwise)
This is mainly because it seems I’m the only one who values things like;
Or maybe I’ve lived beyond the time when such was important. I mean when I see the way people behave (and not the young generation only) I wonder what kind of future our kids will have to face.
I pray I’m wrong!
I want to scream, cry or sleep,
All these thoughts from the deep
Lose the focus and in they creep
Dear God, for me let them weep
Moving, I’ve become an automation
Day to day I survive without a notion
T’was my lot, an overload of emotion
A struggle, but building whose nation
“Things will be better” that they said
No one noticed as I slowly fade
In the light of life I am now a shade
Mucking about in the mess I made
Worry not, I’m not ready to leave
Though its tough I won’t pass that line
Bad as it seems, still its a life
Tomorrow I’ll be here, I just have to live
Yes, I admit I’ve been down there again. And I've been an ass to the people I should have not. Shutting everyone off or being rude, though it seemed a good way to avoid any more stimuli to my brain then, was not the best solution. Sorry.
Man to man is so unjust, children:
Ya don't know who to trust.
Your worst enemy could be your best friend,
And your best friend your worst enemy.
Some will eat and drink with you,
Then behind them su-su 'pon you.
Only your friend know your secrets,
So only he could reveal it.
And who the cap fit, let them wear it!
Today was one of those days that I wonder why I got up at all. By afternoon I was totally burning brain cells by the million. It all begun with a letter that arrived in the office concerning an ancient incident and no one was there to handle the issue. After spending almost an hour searching for the previous correspondences, of which were mysteriously missing, the next thing a technical issue arose that had to be sorted out (by yours truly – naturally). During all this hullabaloo, I suddenly got an insight that lead me to this conclusion.
Another rainy week here. So here I am reminiscing on my journey through life. All those 'wrong' turns I've taken, in my relations, my career and my lifestyle. And the glaring conclusion is that I let my condition take me hostage!
Over the last few days I have been playing back a few of the incidents that have happened over the years concerning my relation with people I came across. Some were (fewer still are) my friends, acquaintances and relatives.
Armed with a better understanding of my condition and how I reacted to situations that presented themselves, I’ve come to that conclusion.
That's something I know. Some may feel I failed them, others may despise me or get mad at me (maybe all of the above). But WHY???
If she is wrong, try show her the right,
No need to quarrel, no need to make a fight.
Not the way – Gregory Isaacs
I just watched an interesting video on setting boundaries here
It gives a great insight to what both parties experience and also how to cope with issues. Speaking from my own perspective, I usually find that stuff that needs to be done in a hurry, snap decisions during discussions and repetitive queries usually end up being avoided or ignored.
Seriously! If you want a vague answer keep pressuring me, you’ll get it. It’s not that I’m avoiding the question but all this multiple channels have to process the data. On top of that I will avoid giving an answer until I feel I have all the facts required to give my answer.
So, be patient.
Don’t take “no” for an answer
There’s no telling where we’ve been
And all I know, is that if you can find me
You may never wanna find me again
‘Cause people don’t understand
People like me.
Alphas Theme Song
At times I guess my life can be defined like a person with multiple personalities but all active at the same time.
So our lives are a “Good news, Good news scenario” The good news being we get there eventually. And the other good news being to get there we take the most scenic route you’ll ever experience. The downside of all this is of course that most of the people we interact with are not gifted/blessed like us so they usually end up either
- Annoyed or angry – since to them we seem to be ignoring them when they ask us something.
- Confused – when our comments or answers are brief and/or cryptic
- Hurt – since we often don’t bother sugar-coating our comments
I really feel the character Kat from Alphas series (Guess it is my best show – until I switch to another), she’s this lady who can remember everything she’s ever learnt either by reading or watching, but cannot remember any event from more than like a month ago. Things like where she was, who her friends were, what she did and all that.
The reason I bring this up is I always find myself in embarrassing situations where I forget peoples names, or at times where we met. Thus it’s like “Umm…. , remind me your name” or my favourite “I know we’ve met trouble is I can’t remember where.”
So next time we meet and I ask you again, please understand.
Guess he said it best.
“Your neurons must myelinate at an astounding rate.” Dr. Rosen – Alphas
P.S. here is another take on the subject